Non Violent Communication

Yesterday was a good day with Graham yesterday covering some Permaculture Principles - zone and sector planning, talk about humanure (after composting one human produces 1 cubic foot of solid waste per YEAR - wow!), and an hour or so of weeding.

Today was fantastic - very Findhorn-esque in feel, in that we were working in circles, in small groups, talking and listening. We had Thomas for a day of Non Violent Communication (we'll have him for a day a week next year, but this was a one off intro for this year), which involved all sorts of excercises and games.

The basics of what he taught us are this. When dealing with an issue, instead of direct confrontation, which will most likely get the offender's back up immediately, take the following approach:

1. Tell the person succinctly what you have observed (I noticed that you have spoken for 10 minutes this session);
2. Tell the person how this makes you feel (I'm anxious because I feel other people aren't getting the chance to contribute/that we won't get through the content)
3. Tell the person your need (I would like to hear everyone's opinions)
4. Make a request, that is doable in the moment (I would like you to allow others to contribute more)

The main thing is that this is done for the right reasons, namely because you want to solve the problem and connect with the other person - that you see them as a human being, not an obstacle in your way!

Communities tend to have more issues and failures due to miscommunication than anything else, so this stuff is absolutely vital. And it makes you feel so much better a person too - instead of getting stressed out about your interactions with people, it becomes a pleasure, things get done, everyone feels heard and appreciated... well, at least that is the aim!