New Normal

So... now we have a baby. Life is different. The baby is very little trouble, and yet there is much more to do. Thankfully I don't have a 9-5 job to return to after two weeks of 'paternity leave', so I can.. cook, do laundry, shopping, read to my wife so she doesn't get bored while breastfeeding, and so on.

Not much has changed - apart from the crib in our room, the dirty nappies (we're using cloth diapers, which means not too much to throw away, but lots of pre-rinsing and a little scrubbing, plus an almost nightly laundry load to do - when previously we'd do maybe two loads a week!). Apart from the fact my wife is a voracious eater (and much slimmer than she was a few weeks ago!!). Apart from everything.

I still have plenty of me-time, but my wife is now at home, all day, every day - rather than out at work, at meetings, events until various times in the evening, many or most days of the week. I am beginning to understand why married men with children stay up so late... because after everyone else is in bed really is the only time to ponder personal stuff. I lived alone for many years, and my wife's usual working habits mean it's been a bit like living alone until now. Having her at home is great (except for the regular "feed me!" cries, ha), but still, change. Adjustment.

It's snowy out. I forget, every year, what it is like for me walking in snow - not out-in-the-forest snow, just to-the-supermarket, where the pavement is sort've cleared, but maybe a bit icy, maybe a bit slippery. We only have one car on the road (mine!), and it only goes out once or twice per week - so both car insurance and fuel bills have come down a lot. Of course, we're keeping the house much warmer, cooking and washing during the day, so our utility bills are going up... but it's ok.

And the baby. Ah, the baby. She eats, she sleeps, and she poohs. She looks around a bit but doesn't really react to what you say to her. If you poke her with a breast, she'll go for it, latch on and omnomnom; if she's wet, she'll cry. She's 'cute', so everyone says, but she doesn't really do much.

Still. She's, like, a tiny human being, y'know? Pretty amazing, but also amazing how utterly defenceless she is! The center of our lives. For the next.. 18 years?!

You can see it coming, but I certainly didn't know what it'd feel like. I doubt I can put it into words. It's incredible, scary, humbling, and delightful. Everything has changed; but I'm still the same.

Pretty cool. Would I recommend it? I don't know. It's so entirely personal... and of course I love her completely. She's part me!

She's got really big big toes, though. Yeah. pretty cool.