... and Endings

2nd February, 2009

So. Here we are. Just about to step off the edge, and into the void - the unknown. I have hung up my programming, uh, fingers, and am busy packing, organising, giving away and panicking.

Eight days to go, before we move out with only the packs on our backs (and possibly the packs on our fronts!). I have lived here - in Derbyshire - for only 7 months; I moved in with Kara in July 2008.

But really, what sort of ending is this? Life is full of Beginnings and Endings, though I'm beginning (excuse me) to see that there are very few true Beginnings or Endings - that whatever happens *now* will influence decisions I make down the road.

This choice we have made, to see Ecovillages first hand, with a long term plan of growing our own - sure, this is a "new" thing. But the seeds were planted a few years ago, when I first read about Peak Oil, and despaired. Or perhaps a few years before that, at school, when in Geography class our teacher told us what non-renewable resources are. Or maybe, just maybe, the ideas and thoughts arose listening to my grandparents, about how many people worked on the farm with them when they were young - compared to just grandpa, one gamekeeper and farmhand full time, and me or one of my cousins as the extra hand at harvest.

Or, in truth, what I am, what I believe, and where I am going is just the culmination of all these experiences - and many more. So today is no more a Beginning or an Ending than any other day?

Today, perhaps. Tomorrow also. But next Wednesday.. well. It's not The End. But it is certainly An End. No more office job, no more stable income, no fixed abode.

Get this - no keys! One of my habits is to pat my pockets frequently to confirm I have with me what I need. Wallet, phone, keys. I sold my car last weekend, so no car keys; no key to work, no bike lock key. No front door key!

Strangely, this strikes me as more abnormal than packing all my (admittedly much reduced) stuff into boxes and sending it off to the four corners of the globe. Habits.. perhaps habits are something we, the Green Movement, need to End. Not the lightbulbs.

Perhaps that is a New Beginning?