God and a better me

I had a mini revelation last night as I was drifting off to sleep. It was about why I don't believe in God, and why organised religions annoy me so much.

I think it's because my concept of God is, to my mind, very pure, or simple. Not mixed with human needs or values.

My vision of God, my understanding of the word God, is of absoluteness. Of a single pure bright point of being, omnipotent and omniscient. Perfect in every way.

But I see my personal growth NOT as a way to become more Godlike - I am human, entirely human, absolutely different from this concept of an infinite God. I don't even believe my idea of God can exist (though I'm not denying the possibility of higher life forms on other planes, or universes smaller than an electron, or that our universe could be a tiny part of something like an electron - little is impossible when you look at things in that way. Who can possibly know?).

I feel the religions of the world have tried to humanise their idea of God to make it more digestable, turning it all into a story. And then treating the stories as absolute fact.

Maybe, who knows, the true wish of the guy called Jesus was to give people better ideas on how to live more happily together, related through his stories.

I feel that's what the core of most religions are - good ideas on how to live more harmonious lives, which have become over time a rulebook with which to beat each other up. Religions have become our judgement systems, rather than accepting responsibility for ourselves.

"God" is so far outside my capabilites of knowledge that it becomes irrelevant. But I can breathe in, release, and accept what I am and what I have done; I can accept what is. And from there, I can go forward.